Every African or multicultural bride knows the struggle of figuring out who gets a plus-one to their wedding.
This goes for all the ceremonies: engagement, traditional wedding, civil wedding, white wedding. You name it! Figuring out the guest list is almost always a hassle.
Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those questions you can answer easily. But as a couple, you should always keep in mind that ultimately, it’s your wedding, and it’s your decision. You have the final say and decide who makes the list and who doesn’t.
With that said, there are still a few things you should keep in mind, and a few factors that can make your decision making a whole lot easier. So let’s dive right into this blog post.
1| Who should get a plus-one?
While you’re making your guest list, remember that some groups of people should always get a plus-one. Not doing so could be considered rude or even disrespectful.
Married or engaged couples
Married or engaged couples should get a plus-one. Unless you have a specific reason for not wanting your guests’ spouse to attend your wedding, you should always invite them. Would you want to go to a wedding without hubby?
Couples in a long-term relationship or who live together
The same thing goes for couples who are in a long-term relationship or who live together. Don’t forget: not everyone is married and a lot of couples who have been in a long-term committed relationship don’t intend to ever get married. Be considerate, it’s 2020.
People who don’t know anyone at your wedding
Imagine being invited to a wedding but not knowing anyone. Sucks, right? On your big day, you’ll be busy and quite overwhelmed by emotion. You won’t have time to tend to guests who came by themselves. If you invite a guest who doesn’t know anyone else, then allow them to bring a plus-one to your wedding.
Your bridal party
As a part of your wedding, your bridal party should be allowed to bring their significant other to your wedding. Remember, they will be helping you plan your big day, so it’s the least you could do.
2 | Who doesn’t need a plus-one?
Your coworkers do not need a plus-one (especially if they are coming as a group and therefore know other people at the wedding). Don’t spend too much time figuring this one out.
Friends who aren’t seriously dating
Rest assured, you don’t need to invite your friends’ new boyfriend or girlfriend. If they haven’t been together long enough to know each other’s middle names, then this shouldn’t cause you sleepless nights (unless it’s a really good friend and you want to do them a favor).
3| What if a guest asks for a plus-one?
You might not be the type of person who asks to bring a guest to another person’s wedding. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone.
And you need to be ready because some guests might just ask you directly and catch you off-guard. So should you grant this request?
It depends on two main things:
1) Who is asking (is it a VIP guest or not)?
2) Do you have the capacity (financial or location wise)?
|Important/VIP guest||Not VIP guest|
|Capacity||Plus-one||No plus-one, unless you want to do them a favor|
|No capacity||Try to accommodate. If not possible, no plus-one. Explain to VIP guest.||No plus-one|
4| How to deal with family members inviting guests?
This is a big one. And no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you might still be faced with this question. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to deal with this issue.
It’s your wedding and you and your future spouse have the last say. Nonetheless, things could get a bit messy: some relatives might end up feeling offended because they think they have a right to invite their own guests (we all know it’s not the case).
Even though it’s your wedding and you absolutely have every right to tell them to stay out of your guest list, you still might want to keep your cool.
Aim to avoid additional stress at all cost – you have enough stuff to take care of. If they are paying for your wedding, you might have to be a little more flexible. We don’t want to be ungrateful now, do we?
Ultimately, if you are paying for the wedding, you have to let them know, that they can’t just go around inviting people. Now you might say: that will never work with my family. Trust me. I know exactly how you feel. And I am here to tell you it is absolutely possible. Letting way too many guests come even though it’s not what you want and you can’t even afford it will only add additional stress to your wedding planning journey and chaos on your wedding day.
5| Other helpful tips
Here are a few more tips you can implement to make sure everything goes smoothly.
Order more invitations (just in case)
You never know. Just to be prepared, make sure to order a few more invitations than needed.
Let your family know early on if and how many guests they are allowed to invite
You don’t want to have to uninvite guests. Yikes. I can already see how that awkward conversation would go.
Make an A-List and a B-List
This might sound harsh, but it can come in handy. There might be some guests you would like to invite, but unfortunately, your budget doesn’t allow you to do so (maybe coworkers or neighbors). If some of your A-List guests can’t attend your wedding, just have a look at your B-List and decide who you could invite instead. Don’t worry, no one needs to know about this list 😉.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep cool and plan the wedding you’ve always dreamed of.
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